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How To Tell If Someone Is Arrogant vs Confident

Did you know that there is good pride and bad pride? Arrogance is of course associated with bad pride. In this article you will learn 7 ways to identify people who are arrogant vs confident, why people are arrogant, and how you can avoid falling into the arrogance trap.

Arrogant Vs Confident, Why Ask?

Arrogance and confidence can appear similar in a person, as both are related to pride. Certainly, pride can be either good or bad.

When pride is bad, a person is arrogant. When pride is good, a person feels confident. Moreover, arrogance is characterized by having an exaggerated sense of our importance or abilities. Also, it is an emotion that rubs people the wrong way. Indeed, in the long-run it is self-defeating.

Confidence on the other hand is a positive characteristic. Indeed, it is a feeling of self-assurance that comes from an appreciation of our abilities or qualities. So by understanding the difference between arrogant vs confident, we learn how to stifle arrogance and encourage confidence.

7 Ways To Tell the Difference Between Arrogant Vs Confident

On the surface it is difficult at first to tell the difference between what is arrogant vs confident in a person. Both confident and arrogant people elude confidence, but arrogant people have hidden insecurities. Whereas confident people feel self-assured. Indeed, over time this becomes obvious to others. Furthermore, self-confident people have more agreeable personality traits. Dr. Tina Tessina’s posting,  Are You Confident Or Arrogant? provides great advice on how to determine if someone is confident versus arrogant. Below are some subtle signs of arrogance vs confidence:

Arrogant vs confident - I'm a big deal.
I’m A Big Deal!

1. Giving Advice.

  • Arrogant: Tell people what to do or correct them.
  • Confident: Offers advice when asked.

2.Talking About Yourself.

  • Arrogant: Brags, does not give others a chance to talk and does not give credit to others.
  • Confident: Asks others to celebrate with them when something good happens; doesn’t assume what’s happening is the most important thing to anyone else.

3. Talking About Others.

  • Arrogant: Gossips and say negative things about other people; reluctant to celebrate someone else’s good news.
  • Confident: Speak kindly about other people; rejoices in others’ success, and is happy to congratulate them.

4.Intimate Relationships (friends, family, romance).

  • Arrogant: It is all about them; Surprisingly enough, acting like a victim (poor me) can be arrogant.
  • Confident: Is generous; Is willing to work together to resolve problems; Takes care of themselves in difficult situations, without blaming anyone else.

5. Workplace.

  • Arrogant. The office is like a battlefield, and they always need to win; claims all the credit.
  • Confident. They do their best; happy to give credit, and gracious when credit is given to them.

6. Social Venues.

  • Arrogant: They want the spotlight; People are attracted to them at first, then turned off.
  • Confident: They are with friends to have fun. Further, they think about whether the other people are enjoying themselves. Lastly, they know it’s not all about them.

7. Communication.

  • Arrogant: They want to tell their own story, but are not as interested in what someone else has to say.
  • Confident: They are equally interested in listening to others as they are in sharing their own news.

Also, see Power of Positivity’s Psychology Explains the Difference Between Self-Confidence and Arrogance

Why Are People Arrogant?

Arrogance is an expedient way to attempt to achieve social status. In fact, all of us have this very human condition to feel we matter and that we are valued by the community. Yet, the trouble with arrogance is that it is short-lived. Further, arrogance does not add value. Eventually, an arrogant person will be found out leading to disfavor instead of an increase in social status. To detail, types of arrogance include:

  • Individual Arrogance. Inflated sense of personal value
  • Comparative Arrogance. Inflated sense of value compared to others
  • Antagonistic Arrogance. Sense of superiority which devalues others

What Can You Do To Avoid the Arrogance Trap?

For some great tips on how to avoid being arrogant, see Forbes’ article, “Confidence Without Arrogance: Why You Should Stop Trying To Be The Smartest Person In The Room—6 Tips To Avoid The Arrogance Trap“. Here are those tips:

  • Focus on Ideas, Not Yourself.
  • Respect Others’ Points of View.
  • Listen and Seek Understanding.
  • Invite Different Opinions.
  • Share Ideas Early. Specifically, put ideas forward when they aren’t fully baked so participants have the chance to provide input and influence the end-game.
  • Cooperate. None of us know everything. Additionally, forcing ideas on people is not the answer.

For more information from Unvarnished Facts on values, click here.

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